Injury Insanity: the Wildest Ways Baseball Players Have Gotten Hurt – 2000s Edition

It’s always a bummer when a baseball player gets injured. They’re forced to sit out, sidelined, watching their teammates have all the fun. But whenever a player gets injured in a weird way, it’s always an interesting story. And so many players have gotten hurt in ways ranging from insane to simply hilarious.

Already this Spring Training, the New York Mets alone have been beset by a plethora of injuries, so let’s look at some of the craziest, funniest, wildest boo-boo’s in baseball history. You can look at the 2010s here, and today, we’ll go back to last decade!

Adam Eaton stABS himself (2001)

Back in the days when DVDs were the hottest new technology, Padres pitcher Adam Eaton stabbed himself in the abdomen with a paring knife while attempting to open the plastic packaging on a DVD. To be fair, that packaging is a real pain. Probably not as painful as stabbing yourself in the stomach, though.

Brian Anderson irons his face (2001)

Anderson apparently did not learn from the 90s antics of John Smoltz, because he once held an iron up to his face to check if it was ready, and singed himself pretty badly. Like a few of his fellow ballplayers who will be featured in this series, Anderson’s injury came because he was trying to multitask while watching a baseball game.

Marty Cordova gets burnt (2002)

The Orioles outfielder spent time on the bench after falling asleep in a tanning bed and suffering burns to his face.

Hats off to Richie Sexson (2003)

Brewers first baseman Richie Sexson missed the first game of the season due to a strained neck. He’d injured himself adjusting his cap during photo day.

Sammy Sosa’s sneeze (2004)

Long before he was scaring baseball fans with his skin-bleaching transformation, the Chicago Cubs star headed to the disabled list after what must have been the mightiest sneeze caused a sprained ligament in his lower back. At the time, it was only his fifth trip to the DL in 16 years in the Majors, which definitely isn’t anything to sneeze at…

Steve Sparks phones home (2004)

File under things that would never happen today: Brewers reliever Steve Sparks dislocating his left shoulder attempting to tear a phone book in half. When was the last time you even saw a phone book?

Clint Barmes pays deerly (2005)

After a game against the Reds, Rockies teammates Barmes and Brad Hawpe visited fellow teammate Todd Helton at his ranch. Barmes liked the venison that Helton served them for dinner so much that Helton gave him a big slab of it to take home. Barmes fell and broke his collarbone while trying to carry the package of deer meat; the injury required surgery and Barmes missed almost three months.

Joel Zumaya’s Hero antics (2006)

Twins pitcher Joel Zumaya missed part of the ALCS due to inflammation in his pitching arm. The medical team eventually pinpointed the cause of the injury: Guitar Hero.

All I can say is, be careful with all that Fortnite, David Price.

Brandon Inge fails to fluff (2008)

Inge’s attempt to be a good father caused him to hit the DL when he strained an oblique… fluffing his son’s pillow.

These stories get wilder and wilder by the decade, so stay tuned for the 90s edition, coming soon!

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