For years now, The Lonely Island has been giving us earworms like “I’m On A Boat,” “I Just Had Sex,” and my personal favorite, “Jack Sparrow.” Funny, catchy songs with wild videos to match.
But last night, The Lonely Island blessed us with their latest drop, “The Unauthorized Bash Bros Experience,” a 28-minute visual rap extravaganza, or as they’re calling it, “A Lonely Island Visual Poem,” on Netflix. It’s a late-80s/early-90s dream, replete with big hair, loud fashion, and wild graphics. It even has the footage of Dennis Eckersley giving up the walk-off home run to a hobbled Kirk Gibson in the 1988 World Series.
And of course, it’s full of steroids jokes.
You should definitely watch it. 10/10 would recommend. But if you hate fun baseball stuff or don’t have 28 minutes to spare, allow me to break it down scene by scene for you, because I’ve already watched it three times!
Wow, they actually found a way to make the Oakland Coliseum look pretty. I was there last month. This in and of itself is an incredible artistic accomplishment.
This moody introduction narrated by Andy Samberg reminds me of Ben Affleck’s very dramatic narration of the 2013 World Series film. Or of Samberg playing Nick Cage on SNL.
Big Icarus vibes here.
“THEY CALL ME JOSAYYYYYYY” “…and I’m Mark.” “JOSAYYYYYY” It’s just so catchy.
“Take a needle out my butt and hop in the Lambo” and “the anabolics got me feelin bionic!” are just two of many clever, not-at-all-subtle steroid references.
Oakland should honestly have a Medallion Night or sell these in the team store at the Coliseum
Beepers, pagers, Maybelline, Alf. Welcome to 1988.
Ladies, your prom date shows up in this suit, WYD?
“I see myself everywhere but here.” A bunch of steroids jokes followed by another moody Nicholas Cage segment.
Apparently, the Bash Bros are about to get sexy
My parents shared a NordicTrack when I was a kid, so this is… uncomfortable.
That’s Sterling K. Brown, AKA the guy from This Is Us and The People vs. OJ Simpson, wearing a two-toned curly wig and purple kimono and doing his best Prince-meets-Beetlejuice impersonation as Sia sings “Silk Robes and Kimonos.”
I just Googled ‘Jose Canseco kimono’ and the only result that wasn’t baseball-related was about how his finger apparently fell off after being surgically attached.
“Will we ever find love?”
“What is the goal?” “To make dad love me!”
Some dark humor in this one.
“All my Kathy’s!”
Hard to make sunflowers depressing and weird, but they pulled it off.
The power of steroids: “bench. pressing. bodacious. babes.”
Is this supposed to be like, a tribute all the kids they could’ve had if the steroids hadn’t shrunken their testicles?
Is Mark McGwire eating in the diner from Back To The Future?
Mark buys puuka shells from Jerry/Larry/Terry/Gary from Parks & Rec and threatens him with a knife because anabolic steroids make you crazy
“Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
Samberg’s former SNL costar Maya Rudolph (center) and current Brooklyn 99 costar Stephanie Beatriz (far right) are killing this scene, ordering “nasty boys” José and Mark to shake their steroid-filled butts.
These guys have some real daddy issues.
This went from daddy issues to “No snitching about the steroids” faster than the exit velocity on a Bash Bros homer.
1988 World Series time for the Bash Bros
And here’s Eck giving up the walk-off to Gibson.
“Let’s Bash” has to be the song of the 2019. So catchy.
This rap listing all the teams is epic. Shoutout to the Expos, gone but never forgotten.
PS: Jorma as Joe Montana during the credits for some reason
Screenshots courtesy of The Lonely Island, Netflix