What Not to Re-Wear

Team uniforms are a huge part of baseball, for the teams and their fans. It’s a fashion statement, as well as a statement of one’s identity: “I am a proud _(Your team here)_ fan.”

But not all unis are created equal. Some are incredible, iconic designs that sell like hotcakes. Others, well… you wouldn’t blame Chris Sale for picking up the scissors again.

With the Brewers revamping their uniforms for 2020, let’s look back at some of the weirdest, wildest uniforms in MLB history.

The Pirates advertised these duds as a "uniform of the future" when they wore these during a 1999 game against the Mets.

In 1999, the final season of the last millennium, the Pittsburgh Pirates wore these uniforms of the future as part of MLB’s “Turn Ahead the Clock” theme. The larger-than-life pirate on the front probably gave kids a big of a scare, but I like the sideways names on the back.

Speaking of 1999, the Rockies had their own futuristic uniforms as part of the same marketing gambit. I actually really like the mountains, but it also kind of looks like Larry Walker got slashed by a Jurassic Park velociraptor.

If you’ve ever wondered what it would look like if a snake coiled its body around a baseball player, look no further than the Arizona Diamondback’s uniforms from the same theme as the two teams above in 1999.

One final 1999 mention goes to the Mets, whose futuristic uniform looked like if Prince and the Men In Black movies had a baby that was an article of clothing.

The 15 Ugliest MLB Throwback Jerseys of All Time

Here’s once-again Angels manager Joe Maddon wearing the a Tampa Bay Rays uniform that looks like something Lance Armstrong would wear to go biking. It’s supposed to be a throwback to the 80s, but the Rays didn’t exist until 1998. The logo on the cap reminds me of the Expos, ironic, since many Montreal fans would love it the Florida team came up north. But the “TB” also makes me think of tuberculosis, because I’m morbid like that. The ‘a’ in ‘Rays’ being a citrus slice is a cute nod to Tropicana Field, though.

Rays Retro Jerseys 1

Speaking of the Rays, I actually love their old Devil Rays uniforms. The ombré color scheme was way ahead of its time.

Astros Retro Jerseys

Before the Houston Astros were cheating their way to championship, they were the Houston Colt 45s, and they had guns on their jerseys to match their very Texas moniker. The matching .45s hats aren’t much better.

I know a lot of people are a fan of Cincinnati’s sleeveless unis, but Oakland definitely should not bring back the baseball vest.

White Sox outfielder Ralph Garr models the shorts worn by the team for three games during the 1976 season.

Who wears short shorts? The 1976 White Sox, who really wanted to show off their… white socks.

Real men wear pink! In 1916, the New York Giants wore pink plaid uniforms and pink socks, and that’s really all there is to say about that.

Photos: Google, Getty Images

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